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4 Signs He’s Not Feeling the Spark and You Need to...

Trying to figure out whether a guy likes you can be exasperating. It could be like he’s showing interest or maybe he’s just being nice because she doesn’t want to offend you.

However, when a guy really likes you, it is usually obvious—so too when he doesn’t. The uncertainty comes to picture when he falls somewhere in between. Since every woman who’s in the dating scene would want to know whether a guy likes them or not, here are some signs that’s screaming they need to move in because he’s just not that into you.

1. You always make the first move.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with women making the first move. But that shouldn’t mean that you should always be the one to ask him out and keep things moving along. Does it look like he’s just saing yes to whatever you say, but is not actually pursuing to get your attention? The, that’s a red flag.

2. You’re the one who’s making all the plans.
Look back on the last few dates you had. Were you the one making the plans every single time you go out? Were you the one who chose the restaurant or bar? You might think that your date at the arcade was cute and fun, but if you suggested for that and he just agreed with you, maybe he just went along because he had nothing else to do. That may sound harsh, but it could be true. You want your partner to work with you and put in some effort to every plan you make, if he doesn’t, well maybe because he’s not that into you.

3. You envy other couples.
When you’re single, it just makes sense when you feel envious of couples. However, when you’re already in a relationship, you should not feel that way since you already have someone you share interests and you’re satisfied with. Therefore, feeling jealous of couples is a sign that something is not going right and you are not treated the way you need and want to.

4. You remember everything, while he remembers nothing
This can make you feel like an idiot. It’s like you think you are already a couple and he is treating you like you just first met. If you know so much about him and always remember to ask how his day went, but he can’t remember your favourite restaurant or something you just brought up yesterday, that’s not a good sign.

It can be hard to admit, but if you can relate to any of these signs, you might want to check with him what he’s really up to for the both of you—whether or not you’re officially a couple.

This is How Couples in Healthy Relationships Fight

All couples have their ups and downs—even extreme downs, sometimes—but it is the way they handle things that make them last longer. Instead of attacking your partner’s character whenever you have misunderstandings, concentrate on expressing your own feelings. It’s okay to say “I’m really angry with you right now!” but it’s not okay to say “You’re a sick person!”

What else couples in healthy relationships do differently when they fight? Here are five ways they deal with arguments the healthy way.

1. They are honest with what’s bothering them.
Couples in long-term relationships communicate honestly and openly. There are no sudden cold treatments and guessing game. Because they want the issue to be over and done and get back to enjoying each other’s company again, they face the issue head on, bringing it up to their partner’s attention right away.

2. They don’t lash out and judge their partner.
They don’t make accusations and call each other names. Couples in healthy relationships listen to their partners first, rather than believing the stories from a third party. And even if they are furious, they try their best not to lash out and call their partner names, because they don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings and cause permanent damage to the relationship.

3. They speak calmly and take turns talking.
A harsh start-up is hard to process well, especially for men. The aggression from yelling could taunt the other person to fight back, or it could simply hurt them—which call for more damage control. Talking calmly when expressing your thoughts and feelings will encourage the other to listen and process your message well. Likewise, when the other person is speaking, listen attentively and try to understand things from his side.

4. They acknowledge each person’s point of view.
They may be bumping heads, but partners in healthy relationships do their best to view things from the other person’s perspective. Saying things like “I know you see it differently, but I appreciate that you listen to my perspective” rather than saying “You don’t understand.” will decrease defensiveness and make room for more productive conversation.

5. They compromise and find a solution that works for them.
When deciding for a solution, couples in healthy relationships always keep in mind that they are a team. They tackle the problem together—them vs. the problem. They prioritize the relationship and choose a solution that benefits them both.

Fights are always emotionally hard for each person in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you should not try to minimize damage. If you want to get over a fight and come out stronger than ever, learn from strong and happy couples and do it the right way.