How to Love Yourself More

For a couple of months now, Justin Bieber’s phenomenal song “Love Yourself” had been topping the global music charts including that of Music Weekly Asia, which features Singapore’s top 30 digital tracks. The song had been tremendously trending for most countries in the world. While the lyrics might refer to his past relationships, the song itself can be viewed on a motivational perspective like loving yourself for who you are without living up to the society or anyone else’s standards.


Music, being one of the oldest forms of the art had been human’s way of expressing his emotions. In fact, a popular song for the Singaporean TV series The Greatest Love of All, which had versions from George Benson (1977) and Whitney Houston (1986), serves as a reminder that when we learn to love ourselves, that is when found the greatest love of all. To those who feel tired, frustrated and lost, the following are proven and tested effective antidotes towards self-love.

1. Grudges are too heavy to carry – let it go. Upon reading this, mark your calendar, because today you will unload the grudges and hatred that have been stopping you from achieving absolute inner peace. If you consistently revisit the pains of the past, it might hinder you from reaching your well-deserved brighter future. To love yourself means to free yourself from the horrors brought by the people who wronged you. Rick Warren’s book on Purpose Driven Life advises us that although we are products of our past, we don’t have to be prisoners of it. Forgive them, forgive yourself too.

2. Self-doubt on silent mode is insufficient – turn it off. Ironic as it may sound but there are some situations in life that you have become your own nemesis. Instead of being your own cheerleader, you are busy creating doubts inside your head. Quit being your own doubter and dream stealer. Instead of negative self-talking, try writing your strengths; crown yourself by making your monthly success reports to give glory for your own achievements. Stay confident about yourself; that is one essential beauty tip.


3. Say goodbye to your comparison habit. Your random friends in social media are flooding your news feed with photos from their tours, parties, and shopping activities. Then, there you are, sitting in a sofa, feeling bitter as you belittle yourself. An excerpt from Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata warns that “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”

Rather than unjustly sizing up your capacity based on other people, accept yourself by understanding your weaknesses in the same manner that you acknowledge your gifts, you may list is also. Recognize your flaws and positively label them as goals leading to progress.

4. Never stay in a threatening relationship. Break the chains and end the physically or emotionally abusive relationship. Do not endure the pain of being with someone who prohibits you from seeing your friends, who discourages you about your career growth, and who throw punches on you. You are a priceless jewel. You deserved to be loved and protected.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean that you need to outperform others to feel outstanding. It is about assuring yourself that we have a chance of winning our own battles thru self-love and we have fight songs on the background as we strive to survive.

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